Dresses

I've been thinking a lot about what I want to wear to my wedding. Clothing gets more complicated with a lesbian wedding. Do you both wear dresses? Does one of you wear a suit? Or something more like a suit than like a dress? And if you go for dresses, does that mean two big white pouffy confections? There's got to be some middle ground... right? Something that's classy but not over the top?

I just can't imagine both of us in white wedding gowns. That's not to say this isn't an option - it works for some people (like the lovely two brides) and it can be lovely. But personally, I just can't picture it. There's a limit to how much white satin I can take, and at this point, one wedding dress might be over that line, never mind two.

If we had gender roles in our relationship, we could follow a more traditional look - one in a dress, one in a suit/tux. But we don't. We're not a butch-femme relationship by any stretch of the imagination. And mostly, neither of us would want to wear a suit. We like getting fancied up in pretty dresses!

Which leaves us, as with so many things in this non-traditional wedding, to chart our own path through the world of fashion. And you know what? I'm pretty excited about going non-traditional in our dresses. White is not my color.

I don't know yet what I want my dress to look like, but we've got some good ideas for L's dress. While visiting some friends over Christmastime, we saw an exhibit of Yves Saint Laurent's couture, and L fell in love with one of the skirts there. It was a big bell skirt in black satin, with abstracty-leaf-type shapes appliqued all over in oranges, reds, and yellows.

So, we're going to make her dress (or maybe skirt/top combination) with that skirt as the inspiration. And if we're making her dress, we might as well make mine too.

And when I say we... I'm actually hoping that my mom will do most of the sewing.... I haven't asked her yet, but I've already penciled her in on my mental wedding to-do list. Hope she agrees!

Someday there will be a wedding... (part 2)

(Joining us in the middle of the story? Check out part 1 here.)

I was ready to be engaged. So ready. So ready I was fantasizing about it constantly. Thinking about exactly how I wanted it to happen. On the alert for signs she might be getting ready to propose. Yes, dear readers, I had reverted to twelve-year-old fantasy land, complete with strewn rose petals, candlelit dinners and sunset walks on the beach. Nevermind that the ocean is thousands of miles away and the cat would probably think rose petals were good to eat if found anywhere in the apartment.

I had created such a fantasy in my head, but she had other things on her mind and, I soon realized, was not going to propose to me anytime soon.

It was time to take matters into my own hands.

I would propose to her.

After weeks of secret scheming, I asked her to marry me with a picnic down by the lake. Neither of us could stop grinning. I didn't get down on one knee. But I did give her a rose and a lovely handmade ring.

- - -

So now you're engaged, you say, let's get this party started and plan the wedding. Great, except we're moving from Wisconsin to the Bay Area this summer. Which is where we want to have the wedding. And it's really hard to pick a venue from halfway across the country. And we can't settle on a date without having a venue. And we don't really know what our budget is. Which leaves this planning-obsessed girl with little to do but look at pretty wedding porn and try not to annoy her partner too much with what-ifs.

Someday there will be a wedding... (part 1)

This is a brand new blog, so I'll give you a little background on me and this whole wedding business.

My girlfriend and I have been moving toward marriage (or whatever equivalent of it we can legally get as a same sex couple) for some time. We started pretty vague - talking about how we wanted to spend our lives together, to grow old together.

Then she casually, in conversation, started to tell me she wanted to marry me. Not in an official, will-you-marry-me sort of way, but offhand - somewhere-in-the-undefined-future. Neither of us were in a place in life where we were ready to get married then, but it was something we both knew we wanted to happen.

But she'd gotten the idea in my head.

I'll admit it right up front, I am a crazy plan-ahead type person. Once I've gotten my teeth into something, I can't help but think about it and start working out details in my head. Suggest to me the barest possibility of a wedding, and I'm planning centerpieces, picking out a wedding party, and fantasizing about a location. Whoa. Probably not a good idea to plan out the whole wedding before we're even engaged.

But I couldn't let go of it. I wanted to start planning, start talking about our wedding. Maybe this is silly and overly traditionalist of me, but I thought we needed to be engaged before we started planning our wedding.